Monday, October 19, 2009

Border Of Freedom

Me and my mind,
Scampering behind the rocks,
Of my senses,
In dire need of silence,
Desperate for a place,
Of solitude,
Trapped behind these fences,
Coward to climb these walls,
Of brick and bones,
Keep clambering over them,
Rain drops and the stones,
Send me crashing down,
I taste blood and dust,
Refraining and restraining,
All my movements,
Need to cross these boundaries,
Of my dislocated dreams,
I’m trapped behind these walls,
Need to break away,
It’s like a migraine,
Breathing and living,
Inside of me,
Clawing the walls,
Of freedom,
One last time,
One last leap,
I’m on the other side,
Of this border,
Bullets like rain drops,
Keep restraining me,
Against the wall,
For a second,
I was a free man,
I died like a free man,
Solitude at last,
Found me,
At my birth place,
Of freedom,
Even though my own,
Country men,
Couldn’t recognize me,
Fifty thousand people,
Lying with arms wide open,
Tasting the blood of freedom,
Die besides me.


  1. That's a touching piece of poetry.
    We need to realize how futile all the bloodshed in the name of geographic barriers is.

    Keep up the good work


  2. Time to do your victory dance dude coz this is coming from me- You rock! Absolutely loved it. The only fault was that you could’ve combined some lines as one coz otherwise its like a silky smooth highway with a lot of speed-breakers.

  3. oh hey thx for commenting.yeah border and all the divisions are a huge problem in my country!!keep reading!!cheers!

  4. hey daone,

    haha finally some appreciation from your side!!am i dreaming or is it really happening!!thx for the comment really glad that you liked it!!i didnt want the lines to be to long it wasnt shaping up like that!!keep reading!!

  5. That was amazing really!When I saw the picture at the beginning of the post I just thought it was another poem about war.But I was pleasantly surprised.Thank you for writing this! :)

  6. hey samadrita,

    thx a lot for reading!!i wanted to portray one man's struggle for freedom!!really glad that you liked it!!you you will definitely be surprised in the future also!!ohh ur welcome and keep reading!!a poet is always hungry for responses haha!!

  7. ooooh very nice. I think the middle had a bit extra then needed but I really liked the beginning and end. Great piece! I liked how you said rain drops on the stones and then later in the piece turned it around and said bullets like rain drops, it was a neat comparison and switch, showed the movement of the poem.

  8. Impressed. Thanks for your comments on a few of my pieces too across at Mark Of Genius. Most humbled I am.

    I love what this invokes. Different scenarios of personal, inner struggle climaxing in freedom to even sociopolitical issues of border control and delineating borders.

    I like the use of short phrases and fragments between the commas. Although one commenter above said it interrupted it, I disagree. It adds to the theme and essence of the piece. Even the poem's physical structure is broken up into pieces as borders physically do one continuous land mass. And it adds a fragmented feel to the poem's cadence as well, thus further adding to the theme.

    Good stuff! Keep writing, I'll keep reading...

  9. hey katie,

    oh glad that you liked my poem!!yeah i kind of thought that readers wont be able to understand if i don't add that extra bit!!subject was complicated and many people couldn't understand '16 broken chains' also so i added some more lines why not elaborate the idea!!i will try to polish it!!thx for replying!!keep reading!!

  10. hey dave,

    thx for such kind words!!ohh i too thought the commas were necessary and complemented each and every scenario!!yeah you yourself write really well and i keep searching for fellow poets coz after all there are very few poets left and we can learn from each other!!looking forward to your works also!!keep writing and keep reading!!

  11. That is kinda sad.. freedom is such an intense thing...

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  12. hey workhard,

    thx for reading and replying.freedom is after all a soul trapped within!!keep reading!!