Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Tall Tales

I know at the end of this story you won’t believe that this ever happened. But let me tell you that each and every word that I’m about to say is true and if it isn’t then this very minute I would be hit by a lightning bolt. So here it goes. So as usual I was traveling by train on that same route which I have been traveling for the past ten years. As always headphones in my ears so loud that even if this train crashed this very moment I won’t come to know until my head came off and I would be like ,”hey!!!Who turned off my i Pod”? So yeah back to my story. I just looked up for a second and,”oh Jesus Christ!!”There was a guy who was not six, not six and half but seven and a half feet tall. He was huge as hell. I mean roof was the only thing that was stopping him from touching the sky. Then my attention wavered for a second and I saw the whole compartment, even the ladies compartment besides ours was staring at him as if it was the end of the world. Some of them were staring into the oblivion. I mean yeah he was tall and yeah his head was touching the roof but people were looking somewhere else only some towards the sky as if this guys upper half was protruding from the roof and was somewhere near the clouds. And then out of the blue a man wearing specks so huge that they looked more like binoculars shouted,” man where does he get his size of jeans”. People started laughing as if someone told them that humans could laugh too. Some of them were creating their own jokes and laughing like mad people and falling from their seats. At first I was also a member of that train compartment laughing committee but then my gaze shifted to that seven and a half feet tall guy. He was standing near the edge of the door and like others looking somewhere above. I mean more then hundred people were making fun of him and shouting, pointing at him so loud that even the people standing on the passing stations could have heard the riot these two compartments were making. But this tall guy was unperturbed by the ongoing laugh riot as if this was like a daily routine for him. Yeah I think it was kind of a daily routine for him. He wasn’t listening to any music and by the end of this story it would also be sure that he was not deaf. If I was in place of this guy I would have jumped from this train to save myself from this embarrassment. But this tall guy was calm as a cucumber. I think he had learned the technique of closing his mind and drifting his thoughts to something which is far more interesting then this usual riot. He was staring towards the sky and the heavy breeze giving him that dreamy look. By this time my headphones were hanging somewhere near my shoes and biting the dust. My station had passed long back and I had no intention of getting off this train. It was as if I was waiting for that climax of the movie and as I say now to my friends I was destined to be on that train that very moment. Suddenly the train started to rock like clothes swirling in the breeze hanging from a rope. Now the people who were still sitting on their seats joined the people who had fallen from their seats. I was somewhere near a smelly crotch. I can still smell that crotch even after two years. I still have nightmares of that crotch. Now the train was not just moving like those clothes I had described earlier it was off its tracks and moving towards the rice fields so fast that it was more like a blur for me but in slow motion. Some say that before you die your whole life plays in your mind at neck breaking speed and then you see that flash of white light. But for me it was not like that my eyes were still fixed on that tall guy. Now this tall guy’s face was not calm anymore and he was holding a pole so hard that his cheeks were red like a volcano. He was thin like a pole he was holding but this guy sure had some inhuman power.
My eyes again switched between others and then back to the tall guy. People still say that what I’m saying is pure bullshit and that my head would have hit a pole and I was imagining. But I swear on my brother’s grave that the whole compartment was still staring at that guy as if they were watching the end of a movie. The train came to a halt and my eyes were still switching as if I was watching a ping pong match. Now the whole world knows that no one was found dead in the compartment number 727.That was our very own laughing committee compartment. Most of them including me were bleeding like hell but there were no screams, no panic nothing at all. All of them including me were still looking at that tall guy. As soon as the train halted this guy removed his grip from the pole and ran like a mad scientist towards us. He wasn’t hurt at all only his jeans had torn from his left knee. No one believed when the passengers of compartment number 727 said that this guy carried four people on his shoulders at a time. There were 108 passengers in that compartment so if we calculate 4 people at a time the conclusion is that it took this tall guy 27 rounds to empty our compartment. Even I wouldn’t have believed this conclusion if my eyes hadn’t witnessed this very own miracle.
That day the news channels got one hell of a story to showcase for two whole days and by third day they had even forgotten that hundreds of lives had been taken in this accident and don’t know how brought humor to this scenario. For example

“The derailed train destroys acres of rice fields. Basmati rice prices shoot up.”

Now yeah I have completed the story but one minor fact still remains. We know that this tall guy saved our lives. We know that he carried 108 people out of that compartment to safety. But what we didn’t know was that His left leg was missing. Our eyes were so fixed on finding that guy’s head somewhere near the sky that we never noticed that he was holding a walking stick in one hand. And then my mind traveled for a second in the past to that part where this tall guy was not running towards us but was hopping, bobbling from side to side.
Sometimes even I think that this incident never happened and that it is just a fragment of my mind. The news channels never saw that tall guy. The passengers of compartment number 727 never saw that guy. It was as if this guy was send by Jesus just for this incident. I’m not that type of guy who says tall tales. It’s just that I came across one which the passengers of compartment number 727 will remember for the rest of their lives.


  1. lets start with the metaphors and similes
    1. 'staring into oblivion'? that makes no sense whatsoever.
    2. 'specks so huge that they looked more like binoculars'? sad analogy. no sense again.
    3. its usually 'cool as cucumber' but calm as a cucumber bhi chalega. just thought you would like to know.
    4. a breeze is NEVER heavy, always serene. if it is heavy, its called gust or storm or something else.
    5. 'red like a volcano'? lol! its lava, nut! volcano is a mountain.
    6. compartment no. 727? as in the Boeing?! i know they have codes but never heard of compartments having 3 digit codes.
    7. the 'thin as the pole he was holding(on to)' carried 4 people at a time on his shoulders IN SPITE of being a handicap, huh? firstly, that's not practically possible. next, explain me how a person can 'stack' 4 people single handedly on his own shoulder and then balance it with one hand! (the second hand is using the walking stick)leave tha handicap aside, i give the man 3 legs, still explain how will he stack it. a demo will be appreciated.
    8. let me tell you something about humor, my friend. the slapstick humor that you have attempted here is just sad. such ones are more of situational comedy in which expression and rendition have more role than the content. in fact, some of the stuff being ridiculous is what made me laugh. maybe you won't agree with me. no wait, i BET you won't agree.
    what's good is the story is pretty engrossing. lots of blatant King influence is found- repeated reference to the future, informal style... but over all, if you would have put more thought, this one could of been one of your decent ones.
    p.s. is it a bigographical version of an autobiographical prospect? :P

  2. thanx for commenting!!keep adding!!

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