Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Ordinary Love

Shape me like a crammed corner,
In your heart, tampered,
With emotions of my love,
Lost in the continuous flow,
Of your ever gasping breathe,
Wretched pieces of my well being,
Formation of a perfect soul for you,
I am a tampered soul my love,
Need to break apart like an atom,
To emerge as an ever glowing sun for you,
My opinion for myself overflowed,
From the brim of my ever flowing life,
It overshadowed, disrupted, vaporized,
In front of your face my love,
I need to savor this moment,
Like a man falling from the highest point,
I whimper, scatter, I look small,
In front of you my love,
Even though I’m way taller,
I need to bend on my knees,
Dragging my shadow down with me,
To judge myself in front of you my love,
I’m just an ordinary human being,
I need to create a nuclear of love,
In comparison to your love for me,
To emerge as an extraordinary human,
In front of you my love,
I keep my eyes wide open while you sleep,
In fear that you don’t disappear in thin air,
My love I don’t know how I will survive,
Without you,
I’m just an ordinary human being,
I pale, crumble, disengage,
I breathe in you my love.


  1. Lovely love filled poem.
    You've got immense talent heavealie.
    I'd love to see more of optimistic poetry from you.

    Keep up the good work.


  2. This is beautiful!! I can feel your love through your words!

  3. lovely lovely...especially the last line..!

  4. @shadow:hey shadow glad to know that you liked my work keep reading!!

  5. @chatterbox:haha i myself am shocked that the last two poems are not that dark and just simple romantic poems!!thx for replying i always value your comments.keep reading and cheers!!

  6. @jstar:hey great to know that you could connect with my poem.thx for reading and replying!!keep reading!!

  7. @titaxy:hey titaxy thx for such kind words!!ya changed the last line around 3 times haha!!keep reading!!

  8. “With emotions of my love”
    Dude, its tautology. Avoid that in the future.
    “Need to break apart like an atom,
    To emerge as an ever glowing sun for you”
    Impressive! You don’t generally use scientific metaphors.
    You have stumbled in some of your earlier romantic poems only to emerge out with one which furiously extinguishes the embers of your disappointments. This one, my friend, is an extraordinary poem about an ordinary love. Wonderfully expressed and beautifully presented. I do have some doubts though which I’ll need to clarify but I think it’s because I am ill equipped than you being obscure. Great work!

  9. @daone:yea my earlier works based on this topic were kind of based on the in the moment thoughts and emotions about the person.in this work i havent taken into consideration just that particular moment but the whole journey.thx for reading and for such kind words.really glad to know that you found my ordinary love poem extraordinary haha!!keep reading!!

  10. very beautiful, well written. thanks for stopping by my blog home and leaving such a positive comment. after reading your poems, i am honored.


  11. Such a way with words! Fantastic poem. Thank you-thank you for visiting me and leaving your comment thus I can partake with you in your gift.


  12. @jessie:hey thx for reading and for such kind words.ohh it was a privilege to read your work!!I'm always on the lookout for good poetry blogs.keep reading!!

  13. @ms.butterfly:ohh thx for reading and replying to my poem.ohh glad that i found your blog.reading other fellow poets work always helps you in improving yourself further.yup also we can appreciate each others work!!keep reading!!

  14. I like this. As a fellow poet on love, life. I like the emotions this inspires and the passion it exudes.

  15. @dave:yup love is like an integral part of most of the poems!!glad to know that you liked my work!!keep reading!!