You were the only one standing besides me,
hands clasped together no room to breath,
obscured vision tonight how straight could i see,
sound of the breeze headlights flashing by,
rusting shadows thin as a sheet of greese,
eyes full of sorrow no room for grief,
no pain tommorow suffering for eternity,
looking down at the grave heart pounding in my chest,
sun rising behind the maple shining at her feet,
a symbol of beauty a symbol of pain,
rose petals on her grave mixed fragrance in the air,
firm grip of her hand no more,no feelings to share,
digging up her body for the fifth time as hard as it seems,
seeing her hollow face again my heart filled with glee,
a sinful deed for some a source of living for me,
cannot live without her anymore i wanted to be free,
hands clasped beside her closed the casket,
we were together for eternity.
no room to 'breath'? its breathe
ReplyDeletesheet of 'greese'? its grease and so on
get a spell check done b4 u post.
got the meaning of the poen when i read for the 5th time. pretty great concept. but several inconsistencies
1. no pain tomorrow suffering for eternity
2. eyes full of sorrow no room for grief
3. the poem starts as 2nd person and in the middle becomes 3rd person.
nah man, these minute things affect the quality of ur creations. think about it.