tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5152084580832458961.post1456385986228622116..comments2023-04-03T01:21:06.916-07:00Comments on Ashes: Revelationheavealiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05584324709724609146noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5152084580832458961.post-23668977394823567612009-09-27T12:21:35.737-07:002009-09-27T12:21:35.737-07:00thx for reading!!thx for reading!!heavealiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05584324709724609146noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5152084580832458961.post-29571121781927823812009-09-27T11:51:54.235-07:002009-09-27T11:51:54.235-07:00That was good.. it made a nice read..
Web host...That was good.. it made a nice read.. <br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.makemysite.in" rel="nofollow"> Web hosting india </a>workhardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02139837491287164337noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5152084580832458961.post-77028717991312886592009-09-11T05:51:56.390-07:002009-09-11T05:51:56.390-07:00thanx for reading.all the phrases used in this sho...thanx for reading.all the phrases used in this short fiction are word to word from "the bible".so i cannot make any changes.'shalt'will remain as "shall".as for the tainted windows I'm referring the windows as tainted because they are infected and slowly the infection will increase.the whole town was destroyed but you can say infected.<br />i will make no modifications to the body of the girl floating.i have already mentioned about the powers buried in the depths of black sand river and also about the girl.<br />i will change the hundred miles to half a mile.thanx keep commenting.heavealiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05584324709724609146noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5152084580832458961.post-6885905813136930242009-09-11T00:28:11.493-07:002009-09-11T00:28:11.493-07:001. "You could hear someone crying each time y...1. "You could hear someone crying each time you left your house. Each house was located at a distance of hundred miles from each other."<br />How can you hear something from hundred miles away?<br />2. "tainted windows"?<br />i think you mean 'tinted', right?<br />3. "Then came the day when I saw a body floating in the black sand river. I was the one who saved that girl."<br />when you say a body is floating, it necessarily means the person is dead.<br />4. "it shall bruise thy head" <br />when you are using this type of english, use it uniformly na. use 'shalt' instead of 'shall'.<br /><br />this is much better than the rest. liked the concept. execution is decent too. i think finally you are gaining some ground n getting your own identity. there wasn't much King influence in this. Nice.Omkar Khandekarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01054817554957373502noreply@blogger.com